thinking

It's been a little while since I posted on here.  I've been doing some thinking over the past few days though, and I think the nature of these posts are going to change.  My weight loss is not going well.  I've actually gained a pound in the last week.  :(  But, it's my own fault.  I just haven't been sticking with the diet like I should or doing much of any exercise.  It's been really getting to me about how difficult and frustrating it is to really get motivated to make such big changes.  I see all these other blogs where people have made huge transformations through diet and exercise so I know it's possible, but I'm not sure it's possible for me...not right now.  The reason has to do with my own attitude.  For a while now I've been thinking that the reason my attitude isn't great is because I'm overweight, that I'm just upset because of the way I look and the fact that it's so difficult to change that.  But lately I've started thinking that maybe my weight isn't the number one issue here.  Maybe it's not my weight making me upset, but it's the fact that I'm upset and unhappy with myself that is making it so difficult to eat right and work out.  This may come across as rambling to you guys, and I apologize if it does.  I just needed to get these thoughts out right now, and I'm not that great at expressing myself.  Anyway, I just think that I need to shift my focus away from the number on the scale and start focusing on making myself and those around me happier.  I think that in a way I've become obsessed with my weight to a point that it's making me neglect other areas of my life.  If I were to focus more on being a better wife and mother then it would eventually help me to become healthier too.  I think that happiness can lead to healthiness.  Some ways that I think I can make myself and those around me happier would be to quit focusing on how to lose weight and just start enjoying my life with them.  I need to do my "job" of being a good wife and mother so that my home will be a happy home.  I need to stop reading weight loss blogs and go clean my house because a clean house makes everyone who lives there feel so much better.  I need to stop worrying about trying to stay on a diet plan and just make sure I'm cooking healthy meals for my entire family and that we're able to sit down together and enjoy those meals as much as possible.  Even the dog is included in this.  I need to take him on walks more and play with him more.  I need to work on training him so that he'll get along better with all of us and with friends that may come over to visit.  I think if I just stop obsessing about what my weight is right now, and instead try to just focus on making my life and my family healthier and happier then eventually the weight will start to come off.  Stress is a big cause of weight gain.  Stressing about losing weight is never going to actually help you lose weight!  Cleaning house, walking the dog, cooking healthier meals, spending time with family, all of these things are going to help me get some exercise, eat better, and just be happier and more relaxed; and I think that will kick start some weight loss as well.  So please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.  I'm going to keep blogging every now and then, but you actually may not "see" me online as much as I have been.  I think that's something else I need to work on.  I need some separation from this computer!  I need to get off this couch and just get busy with my life!  :)

food for thought

I just thought I'd share a quick post on here whenever I try a new vegan/vegetarian food that I really like.  Today for lunch I had Falafel with Tabouleh salad...not something new, I know, but new for me.  I didn't make it so I don't have a recipe; HEB made it for me this time.  :)  I'm going to see if I can find an easy recipe for each of those and try making them soon.  I'm loving it!

Mini-goal

This weekend was so much fun, but as far as my diet it was pretty bad, I must admit!  So today I decided to set a mini-goal for myself to encourage me a little more to get back into working out and eating better.  I'm officially back on a mostly vegan diet today, although I did have a turkey sandwich for lunch simply because I didn't have much else.  I'm planning to make a quinoa salad either tonight or tomorrow though, and it makes a lot so I'll have plenty of leftovers for lunches.  It happens to be one of my favorite vegan dishes so far, so I figured it's a good one to make when I'm just getting back into this way of eating.  You can find the recipe here if you're interested.  My mini-goal is to lose 10 lbs. before Thanksgiving.  I'm not going to post my actual weight on here, but I will post each week how many pounds I have lost so far.  If I do reach my goal, I'd like to have some type of reward for myself so right now I'm thinking either a new pair of jeans (I only have one that fits well.) or get my hair cut/colored.  I'll probably go with the new jeans since I can get those cheaper than a hair cut/color.  :)  Wish me luck!

The Plan

I've decided that my diet plan needs to be the one that I started with earlier this year...a vegan diet.  In three months of eating vegan, or at least mostly vegan, I lost 15 lbs. It was a diet that I really enjoyed.  I learned about new foods, new flavors, and learned to be much more aware of what I was putting in my body.  I had high hopes of continuing this way of eating after moving to Texas, but I think I just gave in to the excuses and the comments way too easily.  It will be more difficult to be vegan in West Texas than it was in Hawaii, but it's not impossible.  I probably won't be 100% vegan.  I do love animals, but I'm not doing this diet for them really.  I agree that factory farming is a horrible thing and don't really understand why humans drink milk that was intended for baby cows, but my main reason for following a vegan diet is for the health benefits.  No, eating meat is not, in itself, bad for you.  However, the amount of meat, especially red meat, that is in the typical American diet is much more than we need.  Then there's also the problem with how that meat is processed (remember "pink slime").  I just feel that a balanced, plant-based diet is what is best for me.  Due to our current financial situation, I can't exactly just throw out all the meat and processed foods in my kitchen and start fresh, so this will have to be a gradual process.  What got me started on the vegan diet the first time was watching several documentaries about our food industry and American diets.  Forks Over Knives, Vegucated, Food Inc., and Hungry For Change are my favorites.  (Having those on DVD to watch any time I need a little inspiration would be great, by the way...Christmas gifts, maybe?)  Re-starting the vegan diet so close to the holidays is going to be extra tough...let's see how it goes!

The Beginning

Ok...I'm joining the blogging world to see if it can help me on my journey to lose weight and get healthy.  At the beginning of this year, I decided to start making some changes and really get serious about losing weight.  It started with some occasional exercise and a vegan diet.  In the first few months I managed to lose 15 lbs. mostly due to the changes in my diet.  Unfortunately, in May I moved from Hawaii (where veganism is pretty popular and easier to do) back to my home state of Texas (where veganism is almost completely unheard of).  After moving I did increase my workouts, but my diet suffered greatly.  I managed to lose about 5 more lbs. though so at least that's something.  Lately I've been noticing that I'm falling back into my old habits pretty quickly.  Sodas, fast food, skipping workouts, etc. I started reading through some other blogs of people who have lost a lot of weight and maintained it so I'm hoping to get inspiration/motivation from them.  I also thought the blogging might help me too, so here we go!

I'm not quite sure yet what my plan is as far as diet and exercise.  Any suggestions would be appreciated!  I did go out for a 30 minute walk this morning, and I'm planning to do that at least three days a week as a start.  I would also like to stop eating out as much and start having more whole foods in my diet.  I know I need to give up sodas again, but to be honest I'm not sure I'm ready to do that.  I guess I could really use some encouragement in that area.  Really, I could use encouragement in a lot of areas.  I really want to lose weight, but I don't think I really want to make the changes.  Most of these other bloggers have this big moment that really changed their way of thinking about their bodies or their diets or their health.  I feel like I need one of those moments, but I don't really want it because they're not always good moments.  Does that make sense?  I just need to start making the changes before I gain more weight or have a health scare or anything like that.  I need to make my own "moment."  This weekend will be my 10th wedding anniversary.  At my current weight, I am 57 lbs. heavier than I was on my wedding day.  Let's just round that to an even 60 lbs. and make that my weight loss goal.  My husband and I were young when we got married, and we had kids right away.  Literally...we were married in October and our son was born the following June.  We now have two beautiful children and love them so much, but we're also looking forward to the day they move out so that we can begin our second chance at a "newlywed" phase.  Because we were so young when we were married and had kids, we'll still be fairly young when they are grown.  But that doesn't mean we'll be healthy and energetic enough to enjoy that time together.  That's my motivation.  I want to lose weight, get healthy, and maintain that so that I can have the energy to be a good parent, a good wife, and to have a lot of fun with my husband when it's just the two of us again!  :)  If anyone is reading this, I hope that you will pray for me during this journey, encourage me along the way, and feel free to send me any suggestions or advice any time.  Thanks!